so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
