Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The uberlube is also flammable
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
