Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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