you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
