so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
