Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
