His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There r osticjed everywhere
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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