The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
