I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
