i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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