can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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