Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
