): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Please don't give away my fajitas
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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