Where did you get a picture of my penis
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
