ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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