3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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