i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
