im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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