she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
