Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
