I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
