Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Watching her eat just hurts me
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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