LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
