I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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