Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
