She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
