He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
