Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
