Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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