I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
