She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
