i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
