I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
