Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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