you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
