from now on my penis is your penis
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
