D3 body, D1 cock
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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