Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
