She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
