I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
