You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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