We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
