That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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