This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
