I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
