I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
