i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
