i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
