if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
