We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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